Topic: What are the strengths and limitations of having a “family of choice?”
Andrew Vachss explains what "Family of Choice" means. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nop7SeuqzP0
“Too many people believe in DNA like it is a religion.” “Too many people who have been damaged…by their own families…have managed to form families of their own.”
Andrew Vachss explains what "Family of Choice" means. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nop7SeuqzP0
“Too many people believe in DNA like it is a religion.” “Too many people who have been damaged…by their own families…have managed to form families of their own.”
Questions about Legality
What effect does legal recognition have on relationships?
It appears that identifying someone as a legally-recognized relationship changes the way the couple and family function in society. Not very surprising, but it is important. Here is a good abstract from a recent article (Becker, A. B. (2012). What's marriage (and family) got to do with it? Support for same‐sex marriage, legal unions, and gay and lesbian couples raising children. Social Science Quarterly, 93(4), 1007-1029):
The current study extends research on public opinion toward gay civil rights by considering the impact of marital and family status and views on the purpose of marriage on support for same‐sex marriage, legal unions, and gay and lesbian couples raising children. Methods: Data from the 2007 Pew Research Center's Social Trends Report were analyzed using hierarchical ordinary least squares (OLS) regression. Models exploring both direct and interactive effects were constructed. Results: The results suggest that marital and family status play a role in influencing issue attitudes and that views on the purpose of marriage moderate the influence of conservative ideological and religious value predispositions on support for same‐sex marriage, legal unions, and gay and lesbian couples raising children. Conclusions: Implications of the findings and the changing demographics of marriage and family are discussed.
The trend for this issue was determined by the Supreme Court on June 27, 2013, when the court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). For the first time, this gave federal recognition of gay marriages, when those marriages were legally determined by state courts. This did not change the status of couples in states where gay marriage is banned. However, that is likely just a matter of time. If a couple with a federally approved marriage from Washington were to move to Alabama, their marriage would no longer be valid. Once this is challenged in the courts, the Supreme Court will likely overturn bans in all states.
By invalidating the Defense of Marriage Act, gay couples can now enjoy Social Security survivor benefits, immigration rights and family leave. Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing for the majority in a 5-4 decision, said that the act wrote inequality into federal law and violated the Fifth Amendment’s protection of equal liberty. He wrote, “DOMA’s principal effect is to identify a subset of state-sanctioned marriages and make them unequal.”
What effect does legal recognition have on relationships?
It appears that identifying someone as a legally-recognized relationship changes the way the couple and family function in society. Not very surprising, but it is important. Here is a good abstract from a recent article (Becker, A. B. (2012). What's marriage (and family) got to do with it? Support for same‐sex marriage, legal unions, and gay and lesbian couples raising children. Social Science Quarterly, 93(4), 1007-1029):
The current study extends research on public opinion toward gay civil rights by considering the impact of marital and family status and views on the purpose of marriage on support for same‐sex marriage, legal unions, and gay and lesbian couples raising children. Methods: Data from the 2007 Pew Research Center's Social Trends Report were analyzed using hierarchical ordinary least squares (OLS) regression. Models exploring both direct and interactive effects were constructed. Results: The results suggest that marital and family status play a role in influencing issue attitudes and that views on the purpose of marriage moderate the influence of conservative ideological and religious value predispositions on support for same‐sex marriage, legal unions, and gay and lesbian couples raising children. Conclusions: Implications of the findings and the changing demographics of marriage and family are discussed.
The trend for this issue was determined by the Supreme Court on June 27, 2013, when the court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). For the first time, this gave federal recognition of gay marriages, when those marriages were legally determined by state courts. This did not change the status of couples in states where gay marriage is banned. However, that is likely just a matter of time. If a couple with a federally approved marriage from Washington were to move to Alabama, their marriage would no longer be valid. Once this is challenged in the courts, the Supreme Court will likely overturn bans in all states.
By invalidating the Defense of Marriage Act, gay couples can now enjoy Social Security survivor benefits, immigration rights and family leave. Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing for the majority in a 5-4 decision, said that the act wrote inequality into federal law and violated the Fifth Amendment’s protection of equal liberty. He wrote, “DOMA’s principal effect is to identify a subset of state-sanctioned marriages and make them unequal.”
How does legal recognition for same-sex couples impact on the wider society? The most obvious ways involve taxes, insurance, social security, religion, adoption, employment codes. Much has been written on the tax element; e.g., http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2013/06/suze-orman-gay-couples-face-unfair-tax-penalties-must-keep-fighting-for-marriage-equality-in-states.html
Are there differences between legally recognized same-sex couples and heterosexual married couples?
Are there differences between legally recognized and non-legally recognized same-sex relationships?
How do same-sex couples negotiate conventional understandings of relationships in their everyday lives?
Are there differences between legally recognized same-sex couples and heterosexual married couples?
Are there differences between legally recognized and non-legally recognized same-sex relationships?
How do same-sex couples negotiate conventional understandings of relationships in their everyday lives?
Other legal issues regarding relationships
Highlights for the Gender Recognition Act in the UK
In one Texas case, a widow was denied the right to collect damages in her husband's wrongful death suit, and her unchanged out of state birth certificate was used as evidence against her.
United States does not have one answer but 56 answers – one for each state, the District of Columbia, and the five inhabited territories (American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Marianas Islands, Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Islands).
Highlights for the Gender Recognition Act in the UK
- Dian Parr (66-year-old Welsh reverend) cannot complete SRS because it would annual her 45-year marriage.
- 31-year-old finance manager from Edinburgh petitioning the court to let her keep her marriage.
In one Texas case, a widow was denied the right to collect damages in her husband's wrongful death suit, and her unchanged out of state birth certificate was used as evidence against her.
United States does not have one answer but 56 answers – one for each state, the District of Columbia, and the five inhabited territories (American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Marianas Islands, Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Islands).
Bisexuality is often hard for people to grasp in relationships, too. Sometimes, this is polyamorous (where the bisexual has a male and female partner), but it could mean that you are attracted to males and female and you simply select your partner regardless of the person's gender. Most of the people in the below video are polyamorous.
Transgender Relationships in the US
The 2010 party platform of the Republican Party of Texas states, Under the heading of "Principles", the platform says, "We believe in: ... Self-sufficient families, founded on the traditional marriage of a natural man and a natural woman.“ Texas has also made it virtually impossible to change birth certificates and is considering making all transgender marriages (regardless of sex) invalid.
Transgender marriages are complicated, there are often questions and tensions arising over how the gender identity could affect children. This video follows a transman and his partner as they expect their first child.
- Mississippi: Sex on birth certificate altered upon request
- Idaho, Ohio, and Tennessee do not alter sex on birth certificates for transsexual people.
- All other states change birth certificates with legal or surgical documentation.
The 2010 party platform of the Republican Party of Texas states, Under the heading of "Principles", the platform says, "We believe in: ... Self-sufficient families, founded on the traditional marriage of a natural man and a natural woman.“ Texas has also made it virtually impossible to change birth certificates and is considering making all transgender marriages (regardless of sex) invalid.
Transgender marriages are complicated, there are often questions and tensions arising over how the gender identity could affect children. This video follows a transman and his partner as they expect their first child.
There are also trans couples where both partners will transition. This video shows a couple involving both a mtf and ftm partner. This video depicts a shortened journal of the entire process.
Same-Sex v hetero relationships
SS relationships share house work labor more evenly
SS couples in legal unions have closer relationships with their families of origin (as well as in-laws) and appear more like hetero married couples.
SS couples are more likely to be in dual-income relationships.
Both benefit from having partners of similar backgrounds.
Both are harmed by spending too little time together, infidelity, financial problems, and intrusion of work into the relationship.
SS relationships share house work labor more evenly
SS couples in legal unions have closer relationships with their families of origin (as well as in-laws) and appear more like hetero married couples.
SS couples are more likely to be in dual-income relationships.
Both benefit from having partners of similar backgrounds.
Both are harmed by spending too little time together, infidelity, financial problems, and intrusion of work into the relationship.
Sex
It is hard to know if LGBTQ sex practices are different from straight and cisgender practices.
Gay male couples have the most sex (with over half having sex outside their relationship). This is more than three times the rate for married, hetero men.
Lesbians appear to have least amount of sex.
What does sex look like?
90% of lesbians engaged in “oral sex, vaginal penetration with fingers and mutual masturbation, 53% reported vaginal penetration using a sex toy, and 85% reported sexual activity with men (Clarke et al., p. 183)
Transsexual sex is most problematic for female-to-male individuals because it is surgically harder to create a functional penis than a functional vagina.
An excellent guide for Safer Sex Guidelines for Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming People may be downloaded.
It is hard to know if LGBTQ sex practices are different from straight and cisgender practices.
Gay male couples have the most sex (with over half having sex outside their relationship). This is more than three times the rate for married, hetero men.
Lesbians appear to have least amount of sex.
What does sex look like?
90% of lesbians engaged in “oral sex, vaginal penetration with fingers and mutual masturbation, 53% reported vaginal penetration using a sex toy, and 85% reported sexual activity with men (Clarke et al., p. 183)
Transsexual sex is most problematic for female-to-male individuals because it is surgically harder to create a functional penis than a functional vagina.
An excellent guide for Safer Sex Guidelines for Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming People may be downloaded.
Polyamorous
Frubbly – enjoying a partner’s relationship with another partner.
Jealousy is seen as sexually exciting.
Often involve bisexual relationships.
Queering anarchism: In queer theory, the very idea of the queer is a shifting terrain that cannot be pinned down to some single definition. Shannon, D., & Willis, A. (2010). Theoretical polyamory: Some thoughts on loving, thinking, and queering anarchism. Sexualities, 13(4), 433-443. doi:10.1177/1363460710370655
Frubbly – enjoying a partner’s relationship with another partner.
Jealousy is seen as sexually exciting.
Often involve bisexual relationships.
Queering anarchism: In queer theory, the very idea of the queer is a shifting terrain that cannot be pinned down to some single definition. Shannon, D., & Willis, A. (2010). Theoretical polyamory: Some thoughts on loving, thinking, and queering anarchism. Sexualities, 13(4), 433-443. doi:10.1177/1363460710370655
Friendships
Gender differences
Lesbian women are more likely to form romantic relationships from friendships. Lesbian woman also have a greater tendency towards enmeshment and to have difficulty letting go of relationships.
Gay men are more likely to form friendships from sexual encounters.
Relationships with hetero same-sex friends is often challenging because of how it might appear.
Gender differences
Lesbian women are more likely to form romantic relationships from friendships. Lesbian woman also have a greater tendency towards enmeshment and to have difficulty letting go of relationships.
Gay men are more likely to form friendships from sexual encounters.
Relationships with hetero same-sex friends is often challenging because of how it might appear.
Discussion:
Topic: What unique obstacles do LGBTQQI families face?
There are several ways you could go with this: Financial, schooling, parenting, medical, friends, restrooms, sports, clubs, taxes, etc.
You can think of it as having gay parents, having gay children, or even dealing with grandparents, uncles, aunts, or others.
Topic: What unique obstacles do LGBTQQI families face?
There are several ways you could go with this: Financial, schooling, parenting, medical, friends, restrooms, sports, clubs, taxes, etc.
You can think of it as having gay parents, having gay children, or even dealing with grandparents, uncles, aunts, or others.